He disabled his match.com account in front of me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize