Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
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I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize