Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
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So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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