I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize