Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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