Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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