I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize