How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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