smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize