We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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