I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Boobs speak an international language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize