When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize