better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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