I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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