real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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