So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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