Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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