You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize