You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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