you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize