No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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