he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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