he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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