What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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