Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize