He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize