Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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