You don't have asthma, your pregnant
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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