ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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