R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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