And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize