another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
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I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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