its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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