I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
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Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
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If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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