Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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