ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i already hear my dad disowning me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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