Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize