im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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