around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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