Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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