My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The Olympian is in my bed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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