OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
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so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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