I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize