you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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