I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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