are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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