Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize