he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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