come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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