Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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