Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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