I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
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I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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